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"I think I've lived long enough to see competitive Counter-Strike as we know it, kill itself." Summary of Richard Lewis' stream (Long)

I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

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A thousand words wasn't enough? Here's five thousand.

List acquired here.
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Too Many Moms: A 90 Days The Other Way recap

We need to kick this recap off with a moment of silence for Sumit’s fandom. We tried, friends. We celebrated this May-December romance like it didn’t have a calendar at all. We hoped Sumit would be a sweet insecure guy with mommy and daddy issues and a slight lying habit, instead of a married man turning a trusting older woman his mistress, after she fully abandons her life. I’m pouring out some liquor for my dead douchebag detector. Fuck you, Summit, for real.
And now, for the actual show!
Paul and Karine are admiring their gorgeous little baby, Pierre, and are trading peaceful promises through the intimate medium of a translator app. Paul still hasn’t bothered to learn any language, and Karine accidentally sloughed off her English skills when a human torpedo rocketed out her body. They agree that it was a good idea for Paul to consume the entire glass of shut the fuck up Karine left out for him, but Karine is worried there won’t be any left for their future. Paul’s response is to unleash his Joker laugh on his defenseless little cub.
“Who do you think he likes more?” Paul is curious about the opinions of a recently released blob of flesh with a still developing cerebral cortex. “I mean, you provide the food, so…”
“Please wrap t-shirt over your face now,” responds Karine, having discovered English anew.
Paul’s mom is coming, and Karine is uneasy about entertaining her in-laws while her stitches are still healing, and worries she’ll be forced to explain why he’s rocking back and forth and talking to himself in the doghouse. But this is Paul’s mom, and none of these things faze her. She arrives heavily bathed in her and Paul’s signature scent, DEET, and greets Karine warmly and tells her that she’s pretty, to which Karine responds, “It’s makeup.” Oh honey, take the compliment.
“You seem like a wonderful mom, and you tolerate Paul, who legally isn’t allowed to re-enter the country, or be within 500 feet of the family home,” Paul’s mom says, and Karine delights in knowing they’re on the same page, and that Mother Paul hasn’t asked her to take a paternity or STD test.
On to Laura, who is wearing capris, the official pant of Florida. She wants to talk to Liam, who has apparently been protective of Laura since she divorced his dad thirteen years ago. Liam is avoiding socializing under the guise of jetlag. When Laura presses him about it, Liam confesses that it “isn’t his style.” It’s not about you, Bratty McBratterson. Put on your four-gallon hat and best airport blanket and go see what a three-day wedding in Qatar looks like.
Liam says that Aladin is just like Laura’s other men. “He won’t let you talk and he’s controlling, in a way that’s different from how I’m controlling and won’t let you talk. Then after awhile you’ll come back and proclaim yourself an independent woman, and who has to pick up the pieces?”
Then Liam offers his best explanation for his angst: that it’s odd watching his mother choose romantic relationships over him over and over again. Molly’s daughter, is that you in there? Blink if this is a Get Out scenario, and I’ll get a camera with a flash.
Laura is upset by what Liam said; not because she’s given it any kind of actual thought, but because it’s going to humiliate her and Aladin. She tells Aladin what’s going on, and he says he’s going to talk to Liam man-to-man, which is a great head’s up that extra popcorn will be required next episode. Laura throws her capris in the fire before they can infect the others, and puts on a beautiful blue dress, to share a cute dance with Aladin and his jubilant friends and family. Sorry Liam, that looks way better than HBO in a hotel room, unless you’ve got a whirlpool tub and heated bed and snack fridge that didn’t make it into the scene.
Then we transition over to Corey, who has a full pass until further notice on account of familial death. He’s in Washington watching his mom take down the Christmas tree. She’s a lot more bathed and a lot less babbling than a lot of us would be in similar circumstances. He talks to his mom about a possible marriage proposal, and she suggests that he go back to Evelin and try. A more selfish mother would have seized the opportunity to insist he stay in Washington with her, but she genuinely wants Corey to be happy. Grieving mom score: 10+.
TLC knows we’re going to need some emotional recovery, so they open the idiot incubation chamber and wipe the crust of disbelief from Tiffani and Ronald’s eyes. They’re driving to a hospital, sharing romantic Tourette’s as a substitute for actual conversation.
“I love you.”
“I love YOU.”
“You’re my favorite.”
“You’re MY favorite.”
“No you hang up first.”
“No YOU!”
Ronald is worried that the public hospitals are too awful to consider as a birthing option, and so he’s busy doing nothing about it. They could always import a midwife and plastic swimming pool for the occasion, which seems a more comfortable option than Karine’s screaming agony marathon, or Libby having to bite a leather strap for Andrei.
Anyway, so the producers must have arrived at this hospital early and slipped the administrator a hundred to scare the living shit out of Tiffani. When the duo walk through the doors, she greets them with the peaceful smile of a well-compensated woman.
“This was a stable years ago, before that fire where all the horses died. It’s a birthing room now,” she begins, slow walking them through every empty, gloomy corridor. “Our rooms are divided by clear plastic sheeting, so you can catch the blood splatter and placenta of your neighbor between contractions. You might not have a doctor, or a bed, but we have this floor, which usually isn’t slippery from spilled entrails. We also have these machines. They’re not plugged in and don’t work, but if you give the homeless man in the waiting area five dollars, he’ll stand behind one and go beep beep beep, if it will make you feel more hospitalized. Unless one of the other stables is using the beeper. Then you have to just die, like the horses.” The hospital administrator winks at the producers, who slip her another 50 for her efforts.
“I didn’t think it was like this anywhere,” says Tiffani, who is still spitting out granules from all those years with her head in the sand. “I’ve never been to an emergency room and never saw that sad Sally Struthers commercial about Ethiopia. I’ve also never seen sleeves on my shoulders, and what is this strange object in my hand that scribbles come out of?”
“A pen?” The producers ask.
“Oh! Is that on the internet? If I put it down will it write back? HELLO PEN CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
Ronald insists that he’ll find the money for a private hospital. I’m glad he said this, because we hadn’t heard the words “gambling addict” this episode yet, so when are people supposed to drink? Tiffani explains that needing money is a really big trigger for Ronald, and I wonder what Tiffani’s world would be like if she worried as much about her child being alone in South Africa as she worries about Ronald crashing into a casino to be chased by vengeful money gods.
Finally, we transition to India, where poor Jenny poses alone. The producers have been on deck for every toilet flush and awkward road barber argument, but somehow they manage to miss a swarm of hostile Indian family members descending on their apartment like a swarm of locusts, before disappearing Sumit. Jenny gives a riveting play-by-play: Sumit got a text message and expressed alarm. He went downstairs, and came back with his father-in-law, who introduced himself to Jenny. Said father-in-law then called other family members, who came rushing down to find him. Jenny then learned that Sumit has been married for two years. The whole family showed up and smashed Sumit’s shrine, and Jenny tried to pull Sumit into the bedroom to hide with her (I’m confused). Sumit’s mother snatched him back and braced to give him the shoe beating of his life, so Jenny bolted for the bedroom alone. They demanded to know if Sumit loves Jenny, and he said he does.
I feel sorry for Jenny, and for Sumit’s legal wife, who didn’t ask to be another person’s curse. To add insult to injury, she gets humiliated on television, since her husband chose to announce his affair with everything shy of a marching band. The whole family left with him, threatening to put him in jail.
Back in the 90DF present, Jenny calls this season’s MVPs, Christina and Jen, to let them know she’s going to need a raft to paddle out of this river of shit. She tells them that Sumit is married, but he doesn’t want to be married and the whole thing was arranged. When did she learn this trivia, if she found out he was married when the FIL arrived? This is not usually the sort of thing you shout when your whole family is slated to arrive and kidnap you. Christina points out that Sumit put Jenny in so much danger, and that he knew getting married was never possible, and still he talked her into coming there. THANK YOU. I’m guessing Sumit’s quiet plan was to tell Jenny the truth and then flee to America, but who knows what he was thinking between earnest-eyed takes. Jenny tells them she doesn’t know what she’s going to do, which means that even with this knowledge, there’s still plenty of time left for additional bad decisions.
Next week, Jihoon’s future inmate status is explored, and Corey announces his return to Evelin, who looks like she’s going to cry not-happy tears. Sumit is in trouble, and describes marriage as “worse than jail” because he’s never seen the inside of an American prison, and Aladin and Liam square off in Battle of the Hats.
submitted by fractalfay to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]

When the Last Tree is Cut Down and the Last River Poisoned, Only Then Will the White Men Realize They Cannot Eat Money

When I was nineteen I developed a severe case of wanderlust and left home without a destination, carrying little more than a beat up old JanSport backpack, a bag of jasmine rice, a camp stove, a copy of Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac, and my sense of adventure. In the five years since I’ve developed into an experienced tramp and travelled through every U.S. state except Alaska and Hawaii, mostly for free via hitchhiking, freight hopping, trainsurfing, and plain old hoofing it. As you might imagine, I’ve had all sorts of adventures; some awe inspiring and life affirming, others miserable and disappointing, and a few downright frightening. I’ve tangled with violent ex-con hobos, macho railyard bulls with something to prove, deranged homeless people, knife wielding junkies, and bored security guards. I’ve been robbed (of the fourteen dollars I was carrying at the time), beaten, tasered, chased by dogs, stalked by mountain lions, and run out of town by angry locals. None of these experiences can hold a candle to the terrifying encounter I had last night. Not even close. I still have no idea what it was. If anyone has any clue as to what this thing was, please leave the info in the comments because I’m completely lost, and I have a feeling that whatever is happening to me is far from over.
I’d been hitching through the deep south for the last few days - Georgia, Alabama, and finally Mississippi - trying, unsuccessfully, to find some temporary work as a farm hand since my cash was almost dry. I eventually got frustrated and decided to head for a place in Texas where I’d had better luck in the past. I hitched a ride to a tiny railroad station in middle-of-nowhere, Mississippi where I knew freight trains usually stopped to change crews, and found a place to hide behind a large rock a couple hundred feet from the station. It was an extremely humid night, and I sat in my filthy clothes, stale with sweat, sipping a warm Miller High Life and listening to the night songs of the frogs and crickets. The moon above was heading towards full, providing plenty of light which I had learned was a blessing and a curse; making it both easier to hop a train, and easier to get caught.
I waited there for a couple of hours. Two passenger trains passed but I let them go; I was extremely exhausted and didn’t feel like trainsurfing (clinging to the outside of a fast moving train, for the uninitiated). Finally I saw what I had been waiting for; a big slow freight train which lumbered to a halt at the station for a crew change. I waited fifteen minutes and when the train started moving again I dashed from my hiding spot to try and jump aboard. Usually the freight cars are locked up tight and you have to jump up and ride the connectors in between cars, a dangerous and uncomfortable endeavor, or lay down on a flat car and hope for the best; but on this particular night I spotted a large red box car with its sliding door slightly ajar, and I made a beeline for it. I tossed my bag in first, then grabbed the handle next to the door and hoisted myself up.
Inside the boxcar was empty and dark, the moon and the occasional trackside lamp shining through the open door providing the only illumination. It was hot and stuffy and the air smelled stale, but it was much better than walking or trying to ride on the outside of the train. I sat down with my back against the front wall of the car with my pack beside me, settled in, and closed my eyes for some much needed rest. Here’s where things started getting weird.
About fifteen minutes into the trip I heard the distinct noise of someone clearing their throat over the clatter of the tracks. It came from inside the freight car, which I was sure had been empty when I boarded the train. My heart skipped a beat, my body tensed up, and I snapped out of my half-sleep searching for the source of the noise, but by now I was way out in the wilderness and the car was so dark I couldn’t see more than few feet infront of me. “Hello? Is someone there?” I said to the darkness. There was silence for about ten seconds before I heard that throat clearing noise again.
“Yes, there is,” replied an unseen voice from the other side of the boxcar. It was strained and high pitched, with a touch of uncertainty, like a person speaking in a second language they haven’t used in a long time.
“Oh, hello. Sorry, I thought I was alone here,” I said.
“You aren’t.”
“Ok. Well, my name is Kyle. What’s yours?”
Silence. No big surprise, I’d met plenty of travellers in my time who were reluctant to give out personal information. “Alright dude, no worries. I don’t really care what your name is, but since we seem to be temporary traveling companions, why don’t you come sit over here with me. I’ve got a couple beers I’m willing to share. They’re warm, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?”
More silence. This guy was starting to piss me off, who turns down free beer? “Fine,” I said into the darkness, “Stay over there then. Just know I’ve got a big ass knife over here, so don’t even think about fucking with me.” I was lying about the blade, it was actually a tiny Swiss Army knife, but he didn’t need to know that. He said nothing in response, but I heard another noise that sounded familiar, though I couldn’t quite place it. It sounded like someone methodically flicking a heavy piece of paper over and over, and it gave me goosebumps up both arms. We sat like that for a long time, me sipping my beer and him flicking that paper, or whatever it was.
fhwap, fhwap, fhwap
After what felt like an eternity he finally spoke.
“Asulan,” the voice said, slow and halting, as if speaking took a great effort.
“What?”
“You may call me Asulan, if you wish.”
“OK,” I replied. “I’ve never heard that one before, what kind of name is it?”
“An old one.”
“Fair enough, Asulan. You gonna come over here and grab a beer now or what?”
“No.”
At that moment the train passed an intersection with a road, and the inside of the car was momentarily lit up by the flashing red lights of the crossing signs. Asulan was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the boxcar from me, awash in shadow, and crouching instead of sitting in a stance similar to what the internet likes to call the “Slav Squat”. I could tell right away there was something off about the guy: he was all knees and elbows, his arms and legs thin and much longer than they should have been. He wore an old timey suit with a frilly under shirt and small bow tie; it reminded me of those black and white pictures you see from the 1800’s of stone faced Indians from the “Five Civilized Tribes”. His head hung between his knees, looking down at something in his hand, and a bowler hat sat upon his head obscuring his face. All I could see in the crimson light was a long hooked nose protruding from below the rim. He held something small in his right hand, which he slapped methodically against the fingers of his left.
fhwap, fhwap, fhwap.
Then the crossing was behind us and the boxcar was bathed in shadow once more. A shiver went up my spine as my brain tried to make sense of what I had just seen, of the freak sitting across from me in the freightcar, just out of sight.
“Did you know that the lighter was invented before matches?” he said suddenly. I could almost hear in his voice the smile that must have been on his face. He knew I’d seen him, he knew I was scared, and it brought him joy.
“What?” I said, blinking. My voice sounded dumbstruck and frightened in my ears and I winced.
“The cigarette lighter came first, according to the technical definition of the word ‘lighter’ and the word ‘match’. Oh sure, people will tell you that the match has been around since the 500’s in China, but those were actually just sticks soaked in flammable liquids that had to be lit by another source. If you’re going by the true definition of a match as ‘a slender piece of wood, cardboard, or other flammable material tipped with a chemical substance that produces fire when rubbed on a rough or chemically prepared surface’ then the match wasn’t invented until 1826 by a man in England named John Walker.”
“The lighter, on the other hand, was invented in 1823 by a German named Johann Wolfgang Dobereiner. He called it ‘Dobereiner’s Torch’, very original, I know. Anyways, according to your people’s calendar, 1823 comes before 1826. Hence, the lighter was invented before the match. Weird, right?”
“Umm, yeah. I guess so.” I said. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I instinctively reached my hand into my pant pocket and felt the cold, reassuring metal of my Zippo there. I closed my fist around it while he continued on as if I hadn’t said anything at all.
“I still prefer matches, regardless of their date of origin. They’re smaller, cheaper, and more reliable. You can even get waterproof ones these days. Plus, there’s no complicated mechanical parts to break or get stuck. Even if the lighter is newer, the match seems a lot closer to the old ways. Atleast to me. I prefer the old ways, the simpler ways, closer to nature, closer to the earth, closer to the way things used to be. There’s less that can go wrong that way.”
I was seriously freaked out now. Sitting in the dark with this strangely eloquent person, though I use that term lightly. I was beginning to wonder if Asulan was even human at all. I’d only seen him for a moment in the flash of that red light, maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I was tired and a little buzzed from the beer after all. Could be my mind playing tricks, the way shadows sometimes look like looming figures when you’re walking home alone at night. The suspense was killing me, and I figured if I really was riding with some kind of monster I’d rather know about it. I pulled the Zippo from my pocket and spun the flint wheel with my thumb, to shed some light on this situation once and for all.
clink, clink, clink.
Nothing happened. It wouldn’t light. Not even the spark you usually get when the lighter is out of fuel, which it wasn’t; I’d just refilled it two days ago in Tuscaloosa.
“See what I mean? Can’t trust em’,” it said from the darkness. The smile was back in its voice now. The fhwap, fhwap, paper flicking noise stopped now as well, replaced by a sound I did know - the snap, snap, whoosh of a match being lit. He’d been flicking a book of paper matches this whole time.
A halo of dim orange light formed around him, and I could see him much clearer now. He looked up at me. The skin of his face was the dull gray of rotting flesh, all wrinkly like an old raisin, and his eyes were tiny black points sunken into his skull. His ears were thin, long, and pointed and now I could see that he actually was smiling. His teeth were a row of long thin spikes like needles, and there were several rows of them stacked upon one another like a shark’s.
“Are you a hunter, Kyle?” he asked.
“No,” I replied. “I’m a vegetarian.” The thing on the other side of the freightcar laughed; a cruel, wheezing sound like a hyena with pneumonia.
“Oh, but you are,” he said. “All of you are hunters in your own way. Hunters of pleasure. Hunters of comfort. Hunters of leisure. Destroyers of the forests. Polluters of lakes. Defilers of land. I’ve watched your kind for a thousand years. You’re all hunters. But I like you Kyle, so I’m going to give you a chance.”
The match had burned down to the long spindly fingers of its left hand, and began to dim and flicker. In the dying light I saw the thing that called itself Asulan toss the matchbook towards me with its right hand. The match went out while the matchbook was mid air and I lost track of it, but I heard it land in front of me somewhere near my left foot. I bent over to look for it, but as I did I heard a kahwooooo from outside the boxcar and felt the air pressure change inside. We had just entered a tunnel and all light disappeared from the world. The boxcar was filled with complete and utter darkness. Somewhere in the blackness across from me I heard a rustle of movement.
On the verge of panic, I frantically searched the wooden floor in front of me with both hands, without success. I could hear something moving closer now with a strange scraping noise. Finally my left hand fell upon the matchbook in the dark, and with trembling fingers I broke off a match and lit it against the coarse striking surface on the cover. As I did the noise coming from the other side of the car stopped, as if he had frozen in place.
The first thing I saw in the new light of the match was the wall of the tunnel outside the open door of the boxcar, flying past mere inches away. There would be no jumping from this train, even if I wanted to, at least not until we were out of the tunnel. I was trapped in here with this thing. I looked across the box car to where it had been sitting, but there was nothing there. Asulan has disappeared. I waved the match from side to side in front of my face searching for him, but I must have swung my arm too hard because the match went out and I was back in inky blackness, that sliding scraping noise moving towards me once again.
I lit another match, my whole body shivering with fear now. It took three strikes to get it to light. The noise stopped again. I stood perfectly still, waiting, listening, as the match burned down. There was nothing but the clanking of the train on the tracks.
As the flame reached my fingertips I heard a hiss coming from the floor of the box car. I looked down, and there it was, laying on the floor on its belly. It must have been slithering across the ground like a snake in the darkness. It looked up at me with those sharp beady eyes and row upon row of needle teeth and hissed, rearing up like a cobra. The match singed the tips of my fingers and went out, and I screamed in the darkness.
I kept on screaming in the dark as I tore another match from the book and lit it. Now the creature was directly in front of me, an inch from my face. Its breath smelled of roadkill that has been lying in the sun for a week. Its clawed hands reached for my throat, but before they got there the world went black. I fell into unconsciousness. I don’t know if it’s possible to faint from pure terror, but I’m pretty sure that's what happened in that moment.
I awoke flat on my back on the floor of the box car. It was light out now. There was no sign of Asulan. I almost could have convinced myself that it had all been a dream if it wasn’t for the book of matches still clutched in my hand. I turned it over. The cover read ‘Choctaw Nation Casino & Resort - Durant’ above a stylized image of a winking indian brave with a stack of money in one hand and a long clay pipe in the other. My mind was foggy and my vision blurred, but I didn’t have time to think too much on it. I felt the train starting to break, which meant it was time for me to make my exit before it fully stopped and the railyard bulls came after me.
I moved for the door, but as I planted my foot to jump I felt an intense pain in my heel which shot all the way up my right leg. Me knee buckled and my leap turned into a tumble out of the door. I landed hard and rolled away, lucky not to have my leg severed by the train. I lay there for a moment dazed and breathing hard. When I finally sat up I noticed the shoe from my right foot was missing, though the left shoe was still there. I lifted my foot to my face and examined it for a moment until I found the source of the pain: a large, black, wicked looking thorn right in the middle of my heel. I grabbed it between two fingers and pulled, and my head was filled with red hot pain, but the thorn didn’t budge even a millimeter. I’d have to dig it out later with the Swiss Army knife, but not here and not now. I looked around and saw that I was sitting in an open field, in broad day light, directly below a large a large sign which read ‘No Trespassing - violators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law’ and decided it was time to cheese it. I limped towards a small unmarked road next to the tracks, walking on the ball of my right foot to prevent the thorn in my heel from making contact with the pavement.
I followed the road until it met with a larger one that eventually became the Main Street of a small town, though I was so dopey by that point that I couldn’t tell you its name. I think it must have been somewhere in Louisiana, but I’m not exactly sure. I staggered through the streets, shambling like a zombie to avoid placing weight on my foot. All around me people stopped and stared, shaking their heads disapprovingly. I walked by exactly four women pushing strollers, and every one of the babies began to wail as I passed by. I met the eyes of one old woman who gave me a nasty look, but when I glared back she turned white as a sheet of paper, grabbed the sides of her head with her hands, and sprinted away from me back the way she had come.
Eventually I saw a motel on the other side of the street, and decided that after the night’s events I needed a little R&R to clean up and get my head back on straight. It would probably cost all the rest of my money, but at this point I didn’t care anymore.
As I stepped out into the street an older model BMW came screeching to a halt next to me and laid on its horn. I looked up to see a red faced old man sneering at me. “Get the hell out of the road, junkie,” he screamed out the window, horn still blasting. I gave him the finger and continued on my way thinking fuck off old man. I hope you crash that piece of shit car.
As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street, I heard the car peeling out. I turned around just in time in time to see the BMW swerve and then crash full speed directly into a concrete wall about 100 feet down the road. The front of the car crumpled like an accordion, and bystanders ran towards the car to see if the driver was ok. Holy shit I thought, did that really just happen. Oh well, serves him right the old prick.
I pushed through the door of the “A1 Motel” and entered a rundown lobby that looked like it had fallen out of a time warp from the 1970’s. Thin orange carpet covered the floor, and garish fake chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Behind the front desk sat a fat black man in a tracksuit staring at a tiny black and white TV. An old western was playing on the screen, John Wayne was firing his six shooter at a group of charging braves in full war paint. The man peeled his eyes from the screen, took one look at me, and started shaking his head.
“No, no way. No homeless,” he said.
“I’m not homeless,” I said. “Just a tourist. I have money and I’d like a room.”
“Bull shit. You ain’t no tourist. Look at you. You a no good bum, and we don’t let no bums in the A1. This is a quality establishment here. Besides, no vacancy.”
I looked up at the neon sign above him which clearly read ‘Vacancy’. He followed my eyes and let out a grunt, then leaned over and flipped a switch under the desk. A bright red ‘NO’ sign flickered to life in front of the ‘Vacancy’ sign.
“Come on man, I’ve had a really weird night. I’ve got a thorn the size of Texas in my heel, and I need a shower and a bed. I’ve got the money right here.” I began to reach into my pocket to show him, but he gave me a dismissive wave.
“I don’t care,” he said. “I don’t care if you have a million fucking dollars. You dressed in rags, you stink, and you look like you ain’t slept in a week, You a bum. Now get out bum, before I call the cops.”
I felt the rage rise, but there was nothing I could do. I turned to leave and muttered, “Whatever man, fuck you. Eat shit and die.”
But as I reached the door I heard a strange gushing noise from behind me and turned back around. The front desk clerk was facing away from me now, crouching over his desk, with his pants around his ankles, and as I watched he let loose a massive pile of excrement right on top of the desk. I gagged reflexively, but couldn’t turn away. The clerk turned back around, and his eyes were huge and frightened, staring at me and pleading silently for help. Then slowly, methodically, he reached down and scooped up a pile of feces with both hands, brought it to his lips, took a bite, and began to chew.
Then he took another scoop, and another and another, faster now, greedily scarfing down his own hot pile of shit. I stood watching, frozen in horror.
When there was nothing left to eat he looked up at me one last time, his face smeared with filth, his eyes like high beam headlights. Then he grabbed at his chest and keeled over the desk, slamming his face down hard on the wooden surface, and lay there. He wasn’t breathing.
What the fuck is going on here? I thought, as I turned again and ran through the door and up the street as fast as my gimpy leg would carry me. I didn’t stop running until I was a few miles outside of town. Then I stopped and tried pulling the thorn out of my heel with the tweezers in my Swiss Army knife. It was useless, the thing wouldn’t move at all, and now a bright red ring of infection surrounded the thorn. Eventually I gave up and turned my attention to hitching as far from this place as possible.
An old nun picked me up and brought me to the next town, pinching her nose the entire ride. I guess I must have smelled something fierce, though I couldn’t smell myself at all. I tried not to speak to her the entire ride, lest something bad happen. I did eventually ask her to drop me at the public library, which she did. I headed straight for the computers and started typing the words you’re reading right now.
Which brings us to the present. I have no idea what that thing that called itself ‘Asulan’ was, what it did to me, or how to get this thorn out of my foot. Like I said before, if you have any ideas PLEASE leave them in the comments. I really don’t know what else to do.
submitted by Dariuspilgrim to nosleep [link] [comments]

What's happening around town (Wed, Dec 4th - Tue, Dec 10th)

Tulsa's event list.

Ongoing

Wednesday, Dec 4th

  • Build a Reader Storytime: Preschool (Owasso Library - Owasso) The best in children's literature, songs, games, finger plays, rhymes and other reading-related activities are shared with your preschooler. For ages 3-5. **The last Preschool Storytime for the year will be Wednesday, Dec. 11. Preschool Storytime will resume on Wednesday, Jan. 15.
  • 😂 Jason Russell (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Dec 7th
  • 🎭 Open Auditions for Cast (Tulsa Spotlight Theatre - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:30pm Open Auditions first Wednesday of every month. 6:30pm
  • Yale University Whiffenpoofs (All Souls Unitarian Church - Tulsa) Let the Yale Whiffenpoofs get you in the holiday spirit with a lively performance at All Souls Unitarian Church in…

Thursday, Dec 5th

  • 🎡 Brown Bag It: Tulsa Festival Ringers (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:30am
  • Cryptic Wisdom (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • 🍴 In the Middle Book Club (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:00pm Join us to discuss "Roller Girl" by Victoria Jamieson and make some awesome buttons! We'll also have snacks and hot chocolate/hot apple cider. For ages 9-12. Request your copy here: https://tccl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/3204432063.
  • 😂 Jason Russell (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Dec 7th
  • Travis Tritt in Concert (Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tulsa - Catoosa) Award-winning country singer Travis Tritt is taking over The Joint in Catoosa for a special evening of live music. Since he…
  • Broken Arrow Wine Walk (Rose District - Broken Arrow) Start Time: 6:30pm The Broken Arrow Wine Walk gives guests the chance to sample a variety of locally crafted drinks within walking distance…

Friday, Dec 6th

  • 🍴 Chandler Park Lights on the Hill (Chandler Park - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 8th Start Time: 6:00pm Enjoy one of the brightest Christmas light displays in Tulsa! Millions of lights will line the roads throughout the park. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
  • Christkindlmarkt (GAST House - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 8th For a unique and distinctly European holiday shopping experience head to the Christkindlmarkt put on by the German American…
  • Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 8th See trained dogs compete in a series of agility tests during the Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial. Held at Tulsa Expo…
  • Festival of Lights Christmas Parade (Downtown - Sand Springs) Day 1 of 2 Come and enjoy one of the state's oldest and biggest nighttime holiday parades and experience the wonder of a small-town…
  • 🍴 Hayes Carll (Cain's Ballroom - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:30pm Cain's Ballroom welcomes Hayes Carll to Tulsa, OK on Friday, December 6, 2019 Burn Co Barbecue - Cain’s will be open during the show. Advance - $23 + fees Day of Show - $26 + fees Door - $26 Mezzanine (21+) - $38 + fees No re-entry! No smoking! No refunds! Support acts are subject to change without notice!
  • 🎓 Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration (U.S. Cellular Store - Claremore) Thru Sun, Dec 8th Start Time: 10:00am Claremore U.S. Cellular Store Hosting Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration
    Happy holidays from U.S. Cellular! The Claremore store at, 502-B S Lynn Riggs Blvd is hosting a holiday-themed Customer Appreciation Celebration from Dec. 6 – Dec. 8. During this time, everyone who visits the store will receive a free tumbler, and customers can…
  • Holiday Maker Market (Mother Road Market - Tulsa) Visit the Mother Road Market along Route 66 in Tulsa for the Holiday Maker Market. Complete your holiday shopping while…
  • Hoosier Arenacross Nationals (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Day 1 of 2 Experience two high-flying nights of motorized, adrenaline-pumping arenacross action. After kicking off the night with live…
  • 😂 Jason Russell (Loony Bin - Tulsa) 1 day left
  • Kayfabe's Annual Toy Drive for St. Francis' Children's Hospital (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • Miracle in Bedford Falls (Broken Arrow Community Playhouse - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Dec 15th Frank Capra’s timeless film “It’s a Wonderful Life” has been given a fresh adaptation with Broken…
  • Philbrook Festival (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Join us as Philbrook comes alive with holiday events, visits from Santa, train rides, Lego Village, garden games, live music, shopping, décor, and thousands of lights in the gardens reflecting the spirit of the season. Gather the whole family for unforgettable experiences. Festival Nights are special ticketed event nights which feature a light…
  • Philbrook Playdates (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 9:30am Come and play with your child, let your child play with other kids, and meet other adults! We provide the creative activity and we clean up the mess. December 2019: Exploring Light Discover the awe-inspiring wonder-filled work of Anila Quayyum Agha with your little one. Then explore light and shadow together! Playdates at Philbrook are…
  • Wax: Push On Tour (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Wax garnered his success from his YouTube channel, where he attracted attention for his rapping and singing skills. Although…
  • Wayne "The Train" Hancock (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm

Saturday, Dec 7th

  • Buddy Lafortune Community Center's Holiday Craft Bazaar (Lafortune Community Center - Tulsa) This event is great for all your holiday shopping, we will have many different vendors selling goods including but not limited to, homemade crafts, knit scarves, pillows, stockings, blankets, jamberry, Mary Kay, Scentsy, and much much more
  • 🎨 Chandler Park Cookies with Santa (Chandler Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am FREE Bring the family out to enjoy milk and cookies with the ‘man in red'. Don't forget to bring your wish lists and cameras to snap a photo. The 1st 100 guests will receive a goodie bag! LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
  • 🍴 Chandler Park Lights on the Hill (Chandler Park - Tulsa) 1 day left Start Time: 6:00pm Enjoy one of the brightest Christmas light displays in Tulsa! Millions of lights will line the roads throughout the park. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
  • Christkindlmarkt (GAST House - Tulsa) 1 day left For a unique and distinctly European holiday shopping experience head to the Christkindlmarkt put on by the German American…
  • A Christmas Carol (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 A Christmas Carol Dec. 7-8, 13-15, 19-22 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 9, 16, 23 at 2 p.m. :: John H. Williams Theatre Robert Odle and Richard Averill's musical adaptation of Charles Dickens' beloved novella about the joy of giving has been a Tulsa tradition for more than 40 years. It's a heartwarming story about Scrooge, a lonely humbug who is given the…
  • Christmas in Kendall Whittier (Kendall-Whittier - Tulsa) Venture into the Kendall Whittier District this winter for a festive holiday shopping experience. Attend the annual…
  • Coweta Christmas Parade & Tree Lighting Ceremony (Downtown - Coweta) Celebrate the winter holidays this season at the annual Coweta Christmas Parade & Tree Lighting Ceremony. Select…
  • Christmas with The Petersens (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) The Petersens are an award-winning family band from Branson known for their authentic music, clean comedy, and family values. In 2015, the family received international attention when banjo player Ellen Petersen competed on American Idol. The family has toured throughout the U.S., Canada, Finland, and Ireland, performing their Americana roots…
  • A Crafty Christmas (Kum & Go - Sand Springs) Plan to attend A Crafty Christmas for an afternoon filled with holiday shopping. This arts and craft show in the heart…
  • Creepy Christmas Light Tour (Woodward Park - Tulsa) Thru Mon, Dec 23rd Haunted history and Christmas lights combine at Tulsa Spirit Tours' Creepy Christmas Light Tour. Learn all about the…
  • Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial (Expo Square - Tulsa) 1 day left See trained dogs compete in a series of agility tests during the Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial. Held at Tulsa Expo…
  • 🎭 The Drunkard and the Olio (Tulsa Spotlight Theatre - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • Festival of Lights Christmas Parade (Downtown - Sand Springs) Day 2 of 2 Come and enjoy one of the state's oldest and biggest nighttime holiday parades and experience the wonder of a small-town…
  • Tulsa Flea Market (Expo Square - Tulsa) Explore 50,000 square feet filled with antiques and collectibles at the Tulsa Flea Market. Head to Tulsa Expo Square, and…
  • Holiday Arts & Crafts Show (Bixby Community Center - Bixby) Scratch a few names off your Christmas gift list by making your way to the annual Holiday Arts & Crafts Show in Bixby.…
  • 🎓 Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration (U.S. Cellular Store - Claremore) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am Claremore U.S. Cellular Store Hosting Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration
    Happy holidays from U.S. Cellular! The Claremore store at, 502-B S Lynn Riggs Blvd is hosting a holiday-themed Customer Appreciation Celebration from Dec. 6 – Dec. 8. During this time, everyone who visits the store will receive a free tumbler, and customers can…
  • Hoosier Arenacross Nationals (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Day 2 of 2 Experience two high-flying nights of motorized, adrenaline-pumping arenacross action. After kicking off the night with live…
  • 😂 Jason Russell (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Last Day
  • 🏃 Jingle Bell Run (BOK Center - Tulsa) Come jingle with us at the annual Jingle Bell Run/Walk for Arthritis. Proceeds from this event help fund research and programs for the 800,000+ Oklahomans with arthritis - American's number one disabling disease.
  • LaFortune Park Crafts Bazaar (Lafortune Community Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:30am Browse homemade items, decorations, scarves, jewelry, and other unique treasures for your holiday shopping list from quality vendors. Booth space available. Call for pricing. Elisabeth Ziegler (918) 496-6220 LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
  • 🎓 Les Mis rables (School Edition) (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Les Mis�rables (School Edition) Dec. 7-8, 14-15 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 8-9, 15-16 at 2 p.m. :: Liddy Doenges Theatre Season Tickets Tulsa's most talented teens take on the masterpiece! Theatre Tulsa's Broadway Academy teenage students perform the inspiring saga of love, hope and... GET TICKETS
  • Midwest Arms Collector Gun Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 For more than 15 years, the Midwest Arms Collector Gun Show has produced quality gun and knife shows. Be sure to explore the…
  • Miracle in Bedford Falls (Broken Arrow Community Playhouse - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Dec 15th Frank Capra’s timeless film “It’s a Wonderful Life” has been given a fresh adaptation with Broken…
  • Mzclave (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • The Nutcracker (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd This December, Tulsa Ballet presents "The Nutcracker" at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Audiences of all ages…
  • 🎨 Oklahoma and the Great Depression (The Gilcrease Museum - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:00am Explore the connections between Oklahoma and the Great Depression through talks, poetry readings, performances and more as we celebrate the exhibition DOROTHEA LANGE'S AMERICA. Free with museum admission. FEATURED TALKS
    “It’s Dying and It’s Hardly Been Born”: The Dust Bowl in Music, Literature and Film | 10:15 a.m. -Dr. Sean Latham,…
  • Philbrook Festival (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Join us as Philbrook comes alive with holiday events, visits from Santa, train rides, Lego Village, garden games, live music, shopping, décor, and thousands of lights in the gardens reflecting the spirit of the season. Gather the whole family for unforgettable experiences. Festival Nights are special ticketed event nights which feature a light…
  • Philbrook Playdates (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 9:30am Come and play with your child, let your child play with other kids, and meet other adults! We provide the creative activity and we clean up the mess. December 2019: Exploring Light Discover the awe-inspiring wonder-filled work of Anila Quayyum Agha with your little one. Then explore light and shadow together! Playdates at Philbrook are…
  • 🎭 Rainbows Are Free - Head Pains Record Release Show (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Head to the Vanguard for a night of metal and theatrics when Rainbows are Free brings their signature show to…
  • Saturday Afternoon Test N Tune (Tulsa Raceway Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 12:00pm
  • Shelby Mustang Classic Car Auction (Expo Square - Tulsa) The Shelby Mustang Classic Car Auction features top hot rods. Visit Tulsa Expo Square, and see the wide range of Mustangs…
  • Succulent Centerpiece Workshop (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Start Time: 2:00pm Get your hands dirty. Take home a piece of Philbrook: succulents grown from our collection. Create a stunning centerpiece (with expert help). Make it for holiday entertaining or as a gift (that keeps on giving/growing). Enjoy wine, beer, and light refreshments. Philbrook Members: $40 Not-Yet Members: $60 Tickets include Museum admission…
  • Victor Wainwright (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm

Sunday, Dec 8th

  • The Alliday Show (Retro Den - Tulsa) An all handmade arts and crafts show in its 10th year!
  • 🍴 Chandler Park Lights on the Hill (Chandler Park - Tulsa) Last Day Start Time: 6:00pm Enjoy one of the brightest Christmas light displays in Tulsa! Millions of lights will line the roads throughout the park. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
  • Christkindlmarkt (GAST House - Tulsa) Last Day For a unique and distinctly European holiday shopping experience head to the Christkindlmarkt put on by the German American…
  • Christmas (Keystone State Park - Sand Springs) Keystone State Park hosts Christmas at the Park just in time for all the exciting winter festivities. Bring the…
  • A Christmas Carol (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 A Christmas Carol Dec. 7-8, 13-15, 19-22 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 9, 16, 23 at 2 p.m. :: John H. Williams Theatre Robert Odle and Richard Averill's musical adaptation of Charles Dickens' beloved novella about the joy of giving has been a Tulsa tradition for more than 40 years. It's a heartwarming story about Scrooge, a lonely humbug who is given the…
  • Creepy Christmas Light Tour (Woodward Park - Tulsa) Thru Mon, Dec 23rd Haunted history and Christmas lights combine at Tulsa Spirit Tours' Creepy Christmas Light Tour. Learn all about the…
  • Criss Angel (Osage Event Center - Tulsa) Come to the Skyline Event Center at the Osage Casino in Tulsa for a night of mind-blowing magic from Criss Angel. The star…
  • Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial (Expo Square - Tulsa) Last Day See trained dogs compete in a series of agility tests during the Tulsa Dog Training Club Agility Trial. Held at Tulsa Expo…
  • 🏃 Half n Half Marathon or Half (Turkey Mountain - Tulsa) The RunnersWorld Tulsa Half and Half Marathon allows you to run a half marathon on the Turkey Mountain trails or a half marathon on paved pedestrian trails. All races will be going at the same time for some fast-paced finish line action.
    Half Marathon on Turkey Mountain Dirt Trails Half Marathon on Riverside Paved Trails Full Marathon…
  • 🎓 Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration (U.S. Cellular Store - Claremore) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am Claremore U.S. Cellular Store Hosting Holiday Customer Appreciation Celebration
    Happy holidays from U.S. Cellular! The Claremore store at, 502-B S Lynn Riggs Blvd is hosting a holiday-themed Customer Appreciation Celebration from Dec. 6 – Dec. 8. During this time, everyone who visits the store will receive a free tumbler, and customers can…
  • 🎓 Les Mis rables (School Edition) (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Les Mis�rables (School Edition) Dec. 7-8, 14-15 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 8-9, 15-16 at 2 p.m. :: Liddy Doenges Theatre Season Tickets Tulsa's most talented teens take on the masterpiece! Theatre Tulsa's Broadway Academy teenage students perform the inspiring saga of love, hope and... GET TICKETS
  • Midwest Arms Collector Gun Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 For more than 15 years, the Midwest Arms Collector Gun Show has produced quality gun and knife shows. Be sure to explore the…
  • Miracle in Bedford Falls (Broken Arrow Community Playhouse - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Dec 15th Frank Capra’s timeless film “It’s a Wonderful Life” has been given a fresh adaptation with Broken…
  • The Nutcracker (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd This December, Tulsa Ballet presents "The Nutcracker" at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Audiences of all ages…
  • ORU Golden Eagles vs Haskell Fighting Indians (Mabee Center - Tulsa) The ORU Golden Eagles men's basketball team strives for success on the court. Watch the team work together toward…
  • Tulsa Toy Run (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thousands of bikers descend upon Tulsa Expo Square every winter just in time for the holidays. During the annual Tulsa Toy…

Monday, Dec 9th

  • Glenpool Christmas Parade (Glenpool) Kick-off the holiday season at the Glenpool Christmas Parade. This festive Merry Monday event will feature displays from…
  • Creepy Christmas Light Tour (Woodward Park - Tulsa) Thru Mon, Dec 23rd Haunted history and Christmas lights combine at Tulsa Spirit Tours' Creepy Christmas Light Tour. Learn all about the…
  • Fiction Addiction Book Club (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:00pm Love talking about books? So do we! Join us to discuss "Beartown" by Fredrick Backman. Reserved copies of the book are available at the desk or you may request your own copy at https://tccl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/3578565063.
  • Jennifer Marriott Band (Tulsa) Start Time: 5:00pm
  • Miracle in Bedford Falls (Broken Arrow Community Playhouse - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Dec 15th Frank Capra’s timeless film “It’s a Wonderful Life” has been given a fresh adaptation with Broken…
  • The Nutcracker (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd This December, Tulsa Ballet presents "The Nutcracker" at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Audiences of all ages…
  • Sing! An Irish Christmas (Mabee Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm Join us for Sing! An Irish Christmas and make memories that will last a lifetime. Come sing along with thousands of believers in your city and celebrate the true story of the Christmas season!

Tuesday, Dec 10th

  • 🎭 Brady Theater, Tulsa, Oklahoma,USA (Brady Theater - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Il Divo at the Tulsa Theater in Tulsa, Oklahoma pre-sale 1st of august at 10.00am
  • Build a Reader Storytime: Babies and Toddlers (Owasso Library - Owasso) Ready, set, READ! This beginning storytime focuses on helping your baby or toddler develop important literacy skills while emphasizing the fun of reading. For ages birth-2. **The last Baby/Toddler Storytime for the year will be Tuesday, Dec. 10. Baby/Toddler Storytime will resume on Tuesday, Jan. 14.
  • Creepy Christmas Light Tour (Woodward Park - Tulsa) Thru Mon, Dec 23rd Haunted history and Christmas lights combine at Tulsa Spirit Tours' Creepy Christmas Light Tour. Learn all about the…
  • Miracle in Bedford Falls (Broken Arrow Community Playhouse - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Dec 15th Frank Capra’s timeless film “It’s a Wonderful Life” has been given a fresh adaptation with Broken…
  • The Nutcracker (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd This December, Tulsa Ballet presents "The Nutcracker" at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Audiences of all ages…

See Also

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What's happening around town (Wed, Nov 13th - Tue, Nov 19th)

Tulsa's event list.

Ongoing

Wednesday, Nov 13th

  • Fruition (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 😂 Gabriel Rutledge (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Nov 16th
  • 🎭 Kill Vargas // Salt Creek (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🎭 Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Start Time: 8:00pm "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" is a series of monologues and ensemble pieces about women, clothes and memory…
  • 🎨 OkJFF: 93Queen (The Sherwin Miller Museum of Jewish Art - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us at Circle Cinema on Wednesday, November 13th at 7:00pm for a screening of the fascinating and insightful new documentary "93Queen" (USA, 2018). This film is in English and Yiddish. All seats are $10 and on sale now. About 93Queen: Set in the Hasidic enclave of Borough Park, Brooklyn, 93QUEEN follows a group of tenacious Hasidic women…
  • Oklahoma Jewish Film Festival (Circle Cinema - Tulsa) 1 day left For an entertaining and rewarding cinematic experience, join the audience in Tulsa for the Oklahoma Jewish Film…
  • PAWS For Reading (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 4:00pm Registered therapy dogs are excellent listeners. Kids ages 5-12 are invited to read their favorite books to a furry, four-pawed friend. Each reader will receive a free book provided by the Raymond and Bessie Kravis Foundation through the Tulsa Library Trust. Registration is required. Register online at…

Thursday, Nov 14th

  • The Birth of Loud: The Guitar Rivalry That Shaped Rock-n-Roll (Oklahoma Center for the Humanities - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm The Birth of Loud is “a hot-rod joy ride through mid-20th-century American history” (The New York Times Book Review), this one-of-a-kind narrative masterfully recreates the rivalry between the two men who innovated the electric guitar’s amplified sound—Leo Fender and Les Paul—and their intense competition to convince rock stars like…
  • 😂 Gabriel Rutledge (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Nov 16th
  • The History of the Osage (Tulsa Artists Coalition - Tulsa) Start Time: 12:00pm As part of Tulsa Artist Fellow Anita Fields's Osage Arts & History Workshops please join us for "The History of the Osage," a presentation by Dr. Andrea Hunter. The presentation will will trace the history of the Osage people from their earliest known existence to the removal of the tribe to Oklahoma. Free and open to all. Light lunch and…
  • 🍴 In the Middle Book Club (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:00pm We will discuss "The Spirit of Cattail County" by Victoria Piontek. Snacks and activities included. For ages 9-12. Request your copy here: https://tccl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/4206765063.
  • 🎭 Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Start Time: 8:00pm "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" is a series of monologues and ensemble pieces about women, clothes and memory…
  • 🎨 OkJFF: The Last Band In Lebanon (The Sherwin Miller Museum of Jewish Art - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us at Circle Cinema on Thursday, November 14th at 7:00pm for a Closing Night Jewish Film Festival screening of the hilarious comedy "The Last Band In Lebanon" (Israel, 2016). This film is in Hebrew and Arabic with English subtitles. All seats are $10 and on sale now. About The Last Band In Lebanon: Three reservists wake up to discover that…
  • Oklahoma Jewish Film Festival (Circle Cinema - Tulsa) Last Day For an entertaining and rewarding cinematic experience, join the audience in Tulsa for the Oklahoma Jewish Film…
  • Old Dominion in Concert (BOK Center - Tulsa) Acclaimed country band Old Dominion is heading to Tulsa on their national Make It Sweet Tour. Head to the BOK Center to hear…
  • Rittz / Dizzy Wright (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:30pm

Friday, Nov 15th

  • Christmas Local Art Market (Inner Circle Vodka Bar - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Transformed into a winter wonderland as a pop-up Christmas bar and shop, Inner Circle Vodka Bar will be bustling with unique…
  • Curator Tour: Horsin' Around (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Celebrate Native American Heritage Month. Explore some of the many ways horses figure prominently in the Museum’s diverse collections of Native American art with curator Christina E. Burke. FREE for Members & Youth (tickets available 10/14) $19 Not-Yet-Members (tickets available 10/21) Space limited, ticket required. All tickets include…
  • Electric Okie Test (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • 😂 Gabriel Rutledge (Loony Bin - Tulsa) 1 day left
  • Kickoff Classic (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Gather up your friends and bring them to Tulsa Expo Square for the Kickoff Classic wrestling tournament. Watch as…
  • Kottonmouth Kings (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🎓 Legally Blonde (Theatre Tulsa - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Start Time: 7:30pm Presented By: Theatre Tulsa Our Broadway Bound students present the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law student.
  • Legally Blonde (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Theatre tulsa presents the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law…
  • 🎭 Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Start Time: 8:00pm "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" is a series of monologues and ensemble pieces about women, clothes and memory…
  • 🎓 Play With Me: A Parent/Child Workshop (Owasso Library - Owasso) Playing is learning! Join us for a three-week play workshop series for parents and children ages 1-3. Class size is limited. Registration is required and is for all three weeks of the series. Each program offers opportunities for children to play with developmentally appropriate toys in a play group atmosphere. Early childhood specialists also…
  • 🎨 Recall/Respond Opening Reception (The Gilcrease Museum - Tulsa) Start Time: 5:30pm Join us for a free public opening celebration of the second and final round of our exhibition with Tulsa Artist Fellowship RECALL/RESPOND. With a series of responses to the Gilcrease Museum collections and the history of Oklahoma itself, artists and writers in the Tulsa Artist Fellowship recall the past and present new perspectives for today.…
  • Rose District Ice Rink (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Skate under the festive twinkle lights at Broken Arrow's only outdoor skating rink. Bring your ice skates or rent them…
  • Swan Lake Gentlemen's Society (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • 🎭 Tulsa Town Hall's 85th Anniversary Season (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:30am
  • Vintage Tulsa Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Some of the finest vintage and antique dealers in the nation are headed to Tulsa Expo Square to present their wares at the…

Saturday, Nov 16th

  • 98° in Concert (Osage Event Center - Tulsa) Head to the Osage Casino in Tulsa for a night to remember as chart-topping 98° takes the Skyline Event Center Stage this…
  • 2019 Woody Guthrie Prize honoring Chuck D (Woody Guthrie Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm The Woody Guthrie Center is honored to present the 6th Annual Woody Guthrie Prize to Chuck D at a November 16th event at Cain's Ballroom in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The award recognizes those who exemplify the work and spirit of Woody Guthrie and promote positive social changes in our world. Rapper, author, and producer Chuck D will be recognized for…
  • Christmas Local Art Market (Inner Circle Vodka Bar - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Transformed into a winter wonderland as a pop-up Christmas bar and shop, Inner Circle Vodka Bar will be bustling with unique…
  • Chuck D in Concert (Cain's Ballroom - Tulsa) See rapper Chuck D live as he accepts the 2019 Woody Guthrie Prize at Cain's Ballroom in Tulsa. This hip-hop artist…
  • Classics Concert Series (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) The Tulsa Symphony Orchestra presents a regular Classics Concert Series. Take a seat at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center,…
  • Classics III: Mozart Piano Concerto with Robin Sutherland (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm Guest artist Robin Sutherland (San Francisco Symphony) joins Tulsa Symphony led by Gerhardt Zimmermann to perform Mozart’s overtly dramatic piano Concerto in C Minor. The wonderful string interplay of Berlioz’s Beatrice and Benedict Overture and Lutoslawski’s elaborate and melodic Concerto for Orchestra round out the evening’s program,…
  • Cliffdiver: At Your Own Risk EP Release (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Local indie rock band Cliffdiver mashes up several genres, delivering an energetic mix of emo, pop, rock and punk sounds to…
  • 🎭 The Drunkard and the Olio (Tulsa Spotlight Theatre - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • 😂 Gabriel Rutledge (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Last Day
  • 🎨 Holiday Hosting Workshop (Tulsa Garden Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am Our friends at Penelope & Lu Events, a local boutique wedding planning company, and Pottery Barn Utica Square, a home decor business, will lead this class focusing on tablescaping, the art of arranging a table, and holiday flower arranging. Join us to master the craft of setting your table for the holidays, learn how to create your own…
  • 🎭 Imagination Series Season Tickets (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Imagination Series Season Tickets Sept. 28, Oct. 26, Nov. 16, Mar. 15 at 7 p.m. :: John H. Williams Theatre Family Fun Night! Get your tickets now to SAVE on all four Imagination Series shows: Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly ; read more GET TICKETS
  • Jim Gaffigan (Paradise Cove @ Margaritaville - Tulsa) Get ready to laugh as Jim Gaffigan brings his sidesplitting brand of observational humor to Paradise Cove at the River…
  • Kickoff Classic (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Gather up your friends and bring them to Tulsa Expo Square for the Kickoff Classic wrestling tournament. Watch as…
  • 🎓 Legally Blonde (Theatre Tulsa - Tulsa) 1 day left Start Time: 7:30pm Presented By: Theatre Tulsa Our Broadway Bound students present the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law student.
  • Legally Blonde (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) 1 day left Theatre tulsa presents the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law…
  • 🎭 Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) 1 day left Start Time: 8:00pm "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" is a series of monologues and ensemble pieces about women, clothes and memory…
  • National Day of Mourning: Thanksgiving as Native Genocide Day (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Start Time: 2:00pm Join us for a lively and informative conversation about Native histories, current cultures, and how all of us can work together to help ensure a vital, thriving future for American Indians and the many cultures that make up this diverse group of peoples. Host: Dr. Kimberly Gail Wieser, President of the Board, Native Writers Circle of the…
  • 🎓 Puppies at the PAC! (Theatre Tulsa - Tulsa) Puppies @ the PAC! is inspired by our upcoming production of "Legally Blonde: The Musical!" Theatre Tulsa has partnered with several rescue groups that have dogs who are single and ready to mingle! We will also have representatives from other pet care organizations, such as River Trail Animal Hospital, Pooches Daycare and Boarding, fun music…
  • 🎓 Puppies at the PAC! (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Puppies @ the PAC! is inspired by our upcoming production of "Legally Blonde: The Musical!" Theatre Tulsa has partnered with several rescue groups that have dogs who are single and ready to mingle! We will also have representatives from other pet care organizations, such as River Trail Animal Hospital, Pooches Daycare and Boarding, fun music…
  • 🎨 Restoring the Adams Building: Alexander Tamahn (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Start Time: 1:00pm Artist and community advocate Alexander Tamahn has been spending the last year painstakingly restoring the Art Deco façade of the Adams Building by hand. Attendees will have the opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes tour and learn what it takes to restore a historic building from the artist who has made it happen. Attendees will meet at…
  • Rose District Ice Rink (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Skate under the festive twinkle lights at Broken Arrow's only outdoor skating rink. Bring your ice skates or rent them…
  • Vintage Tulsa Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) 1 day left Some of the finest vintage and antique dealers in the nation are headed to Tulsa Expo Square to present their wares at the…

Sunday, Nov 17th

  • 😂 Comedy & Cabaret Series Tickets (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Comedy & Cabaret Series Tickets Sept. 29, Oct. 27, Nov. 17, Mar. 9 at 8 p.m. :: John H. Williams Theatre Save $20 ($5 per show) by purchasing this brand-new series as a package! The series includes the famous comedy troupe THE SECOND CITY , jazz pianist read more GET TICKETS
  • 😂 The Copenhagen Bandit (Loony Bin - Tulsa)
  • The Dirty Heads in Concert (Cain's Ballroom - Tulsa) The Dirty Heads churn out a diverse range of collaborations with each new music release. At the Cain's Ballroom concert,…
  • 🍴 Dirty Heads (rescheduled from May 9) (Cain's Ballroom - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Cain's Ballroom welcomes the @[6210992146:274:Dirty Heads] to Tulsa, OK on November 17, 2020 This show has been rescheduled from May 9, 2019. If you plan on attending the new date, no need to exchange your tickets from the previous show. If you need a refund, please contact Ticketfly prior to September 27, 2019. REFUNDS WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE…
  • 🎓 Legally Blonde (Theatre Tulsa - Tulsa) Last Day Start Time: 7:30pm Presented By: Theatre Tulsa Our Broadway Bound students present the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law student.
  • Legally Blonde (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Last Day Theatre tulsa presents the inspiring story of Elle Woods as she journeys from sorority party girl to Harvard Law…
  • 🎭 Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Last Day Start Time: 8:00pm "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" is a series of monologues and ensemble pieces about women, clothes and memory…
  • Oklahoma Bridal & Wedding Expo (Expo Square - Tulsa) Newly engaged couples are invited to attend the Bridal & Wedding Expo held at Tulsa Expo Square. Future brides can soak…
  • Rose District Ice Rink (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Skate under the festive twinkle lights at Broken Arrow's only outdoor skating rink. Bring your ice skates or rent them…
  • Vintage Tulsa Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Last Day Some of the finest vintage and antique dealers in the nation are headed to Tulsa Expo Square to present their wares at the…

Monday, Nov 18th

  • 🎓 Be Internet Awesome (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 5:00pm Let's become Internet Awesome! This 5-week digital safety & citizenship course encourages children to *Think critically and evaluate websites, email, and other content online. *Protect themselves from online threats, including bullying and scams. *Get smart about sharing: what, when, how, and with whom. *Be kind and respectful toward other…
  • Big Brothers Big Sisters (Tulsa Ballet - Tulsa) Start Time: 5:30pm Bring your Little and peak “behind the curtain” at a rehearsal of the Nutcracker, Tulsa’s favorite holiday tradition! Following the rehearsal, you and your little can enjoy cookies and meet some of the Tulsa Ballet Dancers! Tulsa Ballet is proud to partner with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Oklahoma for this wondrous evening. RSVP's by…
  • Fiction Addiction Book Club (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:00pm Love talking about books? So do we! Join us to discuss "Daisy Jones and the Six" by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Reserved copies of the book are available at the desk. For adults.
  • 🎨 Rock 'n Roll Holiday (Tulsa Garden Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:30am Kick up your heels! Raise funds for landscape architecture and horticulture students of OSU Department of Horticulture and Landscape Architecture and Tulsa Community College's Second Chance programs at Dick Conner Correctional Center. -Silent auction and drawing feature amazing prizes -Exclusive trellis and garden poles by Garden Deva Sculpture…
  • Rose District Ice Rink (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Skate under the festive twinkle lights at Broken Arrow's only outdoor skating rink. Bring your ice skates or rent them…

Tuesday, Nov 19th

  • Borneo - All the "B" Birds and More by Dr. Doug Wood (Tulsa Garden Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Dr. Doug Wood is a frequent and popular presenter for TAS. Come hear about Doug's recent trip to Borneo and Malaysia. Doug's program will cover birds, mammals, herps and more. Refreshments begin at 7:00 pm with Doug's presentation beginning about 7:30 pm. Event is free and open to the public. You are welcome to come join Doug and other TAS…
  • Build a Reader Storytime: Babies and Toddlers (Owasso Library - Owasso) Ready, set, READ! This beginning storytime focuses on helping your baby or toddler develop important literacy skills while emphasizing the fun of reading. This month, we will be celebrating "Dinovember" with fun dinosaur stories, songs, and activities. For ages birth-2. Stay after storytime for Stay and Play (11-11:30 a.m.) which includes toys…
  • ORU Golden Eagles vs Rogers State Hillcats (Mabee Center - Tulsa) The ORU Golden Eagles men's basketball team strives for success on the court. Watch the team work together toward…
  • Rose District Ice Rink (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Skate under the festive twinkle lights at Broken Arrow's only outdoor skating rink. Bring your ice skates or rent them…
  • 🎓 Teen Guitar Lessons (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:30pm Bring your own guitar and come for a free beginning guitar workshop taught by local musician Ryan Pennington. Registration is required. Register online HERE https://events.tulsalibrary.org/event/3301411 or call 918-549-7323. For ages 10-18.
  • 🎭 VEAUX (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm

See Also

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